I have gone back and forth about sharing this. This has been a private struggle of mine for 4 years. Only a few people know about this. But I know without a doubt I am NOT the only woman that has this struggle, if I give a new perspective maybe I can help someone.
Mother's Day is about celebrating all the Mothers out there. But for me, and all those other women that don't/can't have children, Mother's Day is another painful reminder of what we so desperately want. Due to my illness and the meds I must take, I am unable to have children. The future is up in the air. My health has definitely not cooperated. Adoption is expensive and not an option at this point. Maybe in a few years. I know God knows all things and has a plan for us. That knowledge though does not seem to help with the pain of the situation. Most people don't understand. It is really hard being around babies. Or pregnant women.
Mother's Day kind of brings it all to a head. Years before I was married I remember a co worker talking about how she would lay out of church on Mother's Day because it was too painful to be reminded of what she couldn't have. I thought she was being silly. But I understand now. But it makes me wonder how many women are suffering in silence? This is such an emotional subject, I know it is hard to talk about. But how about this Mother's Day, remembering ALL women. Those that WANT to be Mothers, and that in their own way, are.
I am lucky, I have my little guys. Taz, Ben, and Samson. My dogs get treated like children and help to fill that void a little. All our nephews and niece help too. And prayerfully, God will bless us with a little one someday. And I pray that He give peace to every woman this Mother's Day, those that have children and those that do not.
3 comments:
Beautifully worded and well said.
I remember not understanding until my friends around me started to have children and, also still to centered in myself of loosing my own mother. So Mother's Day was an attempt to be another day and try not to watch those Hallmark commercials and certainly try to stay out of those stores that have the holidays plastered all over, the moment you walk in the door.
Even when I had my nieces and nephew (xoxo) it filled a void but I knew it was not my time and it would come soon, I hoped. Pets, do take some of the slack up and I know, now having children is beyond words. I still remember and have a very soft spot in my heart for those that are not able to, yet and are waiting for their right time, in whatever form it may take.
Mother's Day is still hard to this day, and yes, intensely emotional for a multitude of reasons. I wrap you in a virtual hug and I know you are giving to your nephews incredible "mothering and smothering" only someone that truly knows how to do it, can. ;) And your time will come in whatever form HE decides is best. xoxo <3
sorry duplicate comment :)
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