This song has really done a number on me. I would strongly suggest listening to it so you understand what in the world I am talking about!! It is beautiful.
I have done quite a bit of praying and thinking lately about where I want my life to be and go. And you know, I have absolutely no clue. Every since I was a kid, I had this picture in my head of what I wanted my life to be. And I promise, the picture in my mind is not really how things have actually turned out. Now, my husband is WAY more awesome than I could have ever imagined. Especially since you only hear women trash theirs. Men can be pretty cool. There are good ones out there, just so all you single women know! Back on track now......I am pushing 30. GASP. By this point, I would have been married almost 10 years, with 4 kids running around. I LOVE children. LOVE them. I would live in ONE town all the time. And I would not struggle to get out of bed most days. I also would not be on chemo most of the times for the last 5 years. Things have not gone as "planned." I could go on and on, but you get the point. But you know, along the way I never adjusted my dreams. I just kept holding onto all my dead plans.
For whatever reason, God has another road for me to travel than the one I planned for me. So I need to let go of my plan. And who am I to say that this course will not work out better? I can guarantee it will not be easier than the one I wanted!! God said we will have tribulation in this world. But you know what? We can have courage in knowing that Jesus Christ has overcome this world. This will be hard. God uses difficult times to build character and bring Him glory. If we LET GO of what we want and go His way. I have been trying to force things for too long. My life is what it is. I am where He has me. I have no clue why. And I probably won't in this life. And I don't need to have my entire life planned out. All that seems to do is really frustrate me. So, I am going to take one day at a time. Right now, my goal is to get in a place where I feel a little better. The new meds are starting to work. Today has been a little rough. After a very bad 2 years, the last 4 weeks have been looking up. I am hoping to start working out again, lightly, soon. I want to find somewhere to volunteer. I need to limit my exposure to people (due to having a low immune system) but I will find somewhere to help. Helping other helps us. I really believe that.
So, talk to me. Comment. Have you ever had trouble letting go, or even realizing that you were holding on? How have you moved past that?
1 comment:
Dearest Katie...I am twice your age. I am a friend of your mom & dad. I've never met you face to face but I've read your blog, I've played words with friends with you, and, I've prayed for you many, many times believing for a miracle to turn your health around for God's glory. What you just declared in the words above is music to Father's ears in heaven. He has a plan and a purpose for you and I believe even with the hardships and the setbacks, your Jeremiah 29:11 is shining through giving hope to someone else to "Let it go". Your words touch my heart. I've had to let several things go over the years but I've learned that God's plan is always better. Bless you, young woman, as you bless so many others.
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